Crabs and Triggerfish
by escapethenoodles
Summary: Staying in a hospital can be pretty damn hard. But not when you run away from home! Karkat Vantas never got along with his family. But when Kankri falls into a coma, someone starts contacting him in the form of his brother.
1. Crabs and Triggerfish

**Andrew Hussie does not belong to me, therefore neither does Homestuck. **

**Reading optional but recommended ;)**

**Please leave a review if you like it! :B**

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Have you ever wondered what it's like to watch the world through a glass bowl? You see the same scenes everyday, the same people passing back and forth, and if they come too close and touch it, it cracks.

A dark haired boy tiptoed out of a hospital dorm. He glanced around himself. All he could see were pristine walls and floors. He sniffed at the stale hospital smell. Grimaced. To his far left was a map of the hospital and a hand sanitizing machine. He made a mental note of his room number. 314. He'd need to remember it if he were to get away with this. Scuffling through the sickeningly white corridor, his heart leapt as he heard a laugh ahead of him. "God. Fucking. _Damn it..._" It must have been nurses coming to check on him. He scrambled back through the hallway, tripping over his foot in the process and made a frustrated noise resembling "_ASDFGHJKL_." He managed to suppress a whimper and hopped around on one foot, hissing, trying to make the pain go away. He wiped sweat off his forehead with the neck of his old Alesana shirt, hoping his face wasn't red. The nurse was approaching, his footsteps the only sound greater than Karkat's pounding heart.

Further up the hall, Karkat could hear a muffled voice. He walked up beside a closed door and put his ear to the wood that framed a beautiful stained glass window.

"Baby that would take away everything... Good in my life... Mmmmmm..."

A smile played upon his coffee stained lips. He inched closer.

"And tell me now... HOW DO I LIVE WITHOUT YOU?!"

Karkat stifled a chuckle. Someone was singing?

"I want to know, HOW DO I BREATHE WITHOUT YOU?!"

...

"...How do I EVER! EVER SURVIVE?!ooooooHOOOOOOOHHHH!"

He made a strangled choking noise, almost falling to the floor in the process. His face was definitely red now.

"PFT...! WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK WAS THAT HAHAHA-!

Too loud. Oops. Karkat saw a shadow start to approach him behind his reflection in the stained glass.

"Oh fuck." He swore, and stumbled off drunkenly in between giggles. He held his stomach and bent. A stitch had formed in his lower abdomen. "Just what I needed," He thought to himself, but the rare smile that terrible singing had inspired just wouldn't go away. He decided to own it for a little while.

He stood opposite to his initial point. In front of his room. He decided to leave this 'adventure' until another day. For now, he just wanted to lie down till his stitch left. He entered, turned to close the door and put up the 'DO NOT DISTURB' sign.

When he reached for the handle, he noticed something different about it, though. Of course he didn't usually notice doorknobs or anything, it's just that this particular doorknob was a little strange. Compared to the rest of the doorknobs in the hospital, this one was engraved with a snake eating it's tail in a circle. And that was when it occurred to him that this wasn't his room. And that he was a fucking idiot.

_314, not 413, damn it!_

He finally put his back to the door, unsurprised by what he found. An empty room, apart from a glassy white computer on a table and a chair. The wall was a sickly white, unmarked but faded from years of wear, somewhat like the colour of Karkat's skin. The marble floor was a clear, porcelain blue and sent a shiver through his bare feet. It was a simple, but uninviting room. Karkat didn't see that though. Every reckless situation was inviting to him. Stepping further to the computer, he noticed the strange keys and levers sticking out of the keyboard. He failed to suppress a grin.

Karkat's fingers hovered above each button, each switch, each meter. This keyboard was more of a puzzle than a pentagonal Rubik's cube. He placed the tip of his finger on a button that closely resembled a start sign. But instead of a circle and a line, there was another tail eating it's tail designed on the button. He pressed the button. The light of the screen dimly illuminated the room. Karkat's curiosity grew by the millisecond. If his parents were here, they'd probably tell him to leave it alone, to 'fuck back off into his own room' or to 'finish the fucking homework that his overpriced school gave him.' That was the most considerate they could get. His sharp tongue must have been passed down by them. Disgusting.

Karkat felt a strange piercing feeling in his chest. He winced. Thoughts about his family usually didn't affect him this much. He guessed this was what he got after showing so much emotion today, no matter how discreetly. His parents may not have cared enough to check on him in hospital, but they sure had plenty of time for his older brother, Kankri. Kankri was as perfect as perfect could get. He aced his exams, never raised his voice and always scored first place in everything he set his mind to. His only flaw would have been that he was rather long winded. He was the only one who had ever loved Karkat.

The pain in Karkat's chest fluctuated between a stinging jealousy and a desperate silent throbbing. Ever since his brother's unfortunate accident, Karkat's parents just increased their resent. They blamed him for trying to murder his own brother. It was kind of... Well, a very hard thing to live with. Karkat's parents made him suffer every moment of his life. They convinced him that no one loved him. Because if your parents won't love you, who will? Some days he would return to his room with a broken heart, and others he would just have a broken nose. Sticks and stones.

But no one was there to stop him this time. His parents had nothing to say to him now. He was free. Free from everything. He pressed a button.

**triggeringOrator began pestering carcinoGeneticist**

TO: Karkat.

TO: KARKAT.

CG: ... WHAT?

TO: Well, I simply wanted t9 n9tify y9u that y9u are n9t l9sing y9ur sanity. I kn9w very well that y9u were at 9ne p9int c9ntemplating the p9ssi6ility that y9u may have actually g9ne, ahem, mad 9r the like, 6ut y9u may safely discard that idea fr9m y9ur 6rain. Alth9ugh I may n9t assure y9u that y9u are much t99 intellectual t9 c9nf9rm t9 such a state 9f mi- 9h! Excuse me! I d9 h9pe that the t9pic I had just menti9ned was n9t t99 sensitive an area t9 talk a69ut f9r y9u. Y9u must remind pe9ple a69ut these triggers 6ef9re beginning a c9nversati9n! 9n that n9te, may I add that every9ne has different triggers, which may 6e influenced 6y likes and dislikes, age, past relati9nships, peers, childh99d events, sentimentality, familial issues... present state 9f mind, recent deaths... c9mm9n disa6ilities... Many pe9ple fail t9 educate themselves a69ut these triggers, this is 9ften a key cause t9...

CG: TO WHAT

TO: I... I f9rg9t. And 9nce again, many 9f these triggers may include pers9nal hygiene, the discl9sure 9f secrets, the dispersal 9f a family... And finally, the mental health 9f a teenage 6eing. Feel free t9 ask any questi9ns at any time, 6r9ther.

CG: AGAIN, WHAT?

TO: What is n9t a relevant questi9n. Y9u understand. If you feel the slightest 6it c9nfused 6y any 9f this, y9u may ask me. 9f c9urse, this is 6ecause I am y9ur 6r9ther and I l9ve y9u. Even m9re, now that y9u n9w have the p9wer to c9mmunicate with me and respect the fact that I have 6ut a few w9rds t9 share.

CG: SHUT YOUR FUCKING CAKE HOLE UP YOU INSUFFERABLE CHRISTMAS JUMPER CLAD PRICK

TO: That was quite rude, Karkat, y9u musn't use such vile language. Language such as this is 9ften c9nsidered a trigger, particularly t9 y9ung children and many 9f the elderly. Swearing must 6e tagged as a trigger in fr9nt 9f such a cr9wd, 9therwise it may lead t9 s9me disastr9us situati9ns. Speaking 9f disastr9us situati9ns, what were y9u d9ing this m9rning?

CG: WHAT THE FUCK, KANKRI?

CG: WHY IN ALL FUCKING HEAVEN AND HELL ARE YOU HERE?

CG: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

CG: FORGET IT.

TO: St9p interrupting! I just wanted t9 greet y9u.

CG: YOURE NOT KANKRI

CG: YOU

CG: YOU CANT BE

TC: hOnK :o)

TC: HeY bEsT fRiEnD

CG: GAMZEE?

CG: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN HERE

TC: I dIdNt MeAn No MoThErFuCkEr To GeT hIs FrEaK oN

TC: SoLbRo JuSt GaVe A mOtHeRfUcKeR yOuR tRoLlHaNdLe

TO: N9w n9w, y9ung acquaintance, I w9uld like t9 advise y9u t9 tag any p9ssi6le triggers with the p9tential t9 69ther my si6ling. It seems that y9u may have 6reached a certain line with my y9unger 6r9ther.

CG: OH MY GOG.

TO: Tags, Karkat. #cursing #p9ssi6letriggers #tags

**carcinoGeneticist blocked triggeringOrator**


	2. What Happened?

**I've been rather busy recently, but wish me luck! XD**

**Apologies to everyone who doesn't like the Kankri and Cronus shipping - I find it immensely adorable, even though Cronus is a desperate, brainless arse ;)**

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Kankri looked to his friend.

Cronus Ampora had stopped their vehicle for a gas refill. Mituna was getting a motor oil jug out of the boot. They were on their way to a part- eh… _Social gathering_. Kankri didn't like parties. Cronus was the polar opposite of Kankri. While Kankri wore wooly red jumpers, Cronus wore white stained wifebeaters. While Kankri hated socialising unnecessarily, Cronus was a hopeless flirt. While Kankri had perfect grammar at all times, Cronus cut most of his words short and had a strange speech impediment. He also seemed to be mentally stuck in the 1950's.

He had a bit of a thing for fish puns, even though he hated them. His little brother, Eridan must have rubbed off on him, despite Eridan hating them too! Eridan's friend, Feferi Peixes visited their house often and it felt like she was already part of the family. In an annoying little sister way, that is. That's one reason Cronus never seemed to hit on her. The second was that Eridan would kill him if he even tried. Eridan had a huge crush on Feferi, and even though she noticed it (Well, probably did, as Eridan practically threw himself at her whenever she was around), she blew him off as if he wasn't worth the effort. She was the one that gave Eridan the bad habit of fish puns. Cronus thought that under that bubbly exterior, she was a cold hearted, spoiled little girl. However, the elder Ampora was interested in someone else entirely. And that someone else was busy giving a speech at the time.

"Ampora, I highly doubt we are travelling in the right direction. Do you really know the correct route to our destination? I was not informed that the occasion would take place outside the city premises. I wouldn't have been going if it were not for Porrim and her motherly tantrums. I don't even understand why she treats me as if I were her son. We are certainly not related and she is only two years ol-mmph..." He was cut off as a large finger muffled the sound of his voice. He shivered at the many cold rings pressed against his lips.

"Hold your seahorses, little triggerfish. We've got 'Tuna and 'Tula with us too, right? Can't be wrong..." Assured the 1950's Greaser, the lisp he always tried so hard to hide showing through.

He stretched an arm over Kankri's shoulders which he quickly batted away. This earned a deep chuckle from Cronus. Cronus settled with placing his hand down gently on Kankri's while the other remained on the steering wheel. Kankri flinched but didn't take back his hand. The colour of his face slowly turned that of his bright red jumper as he looked away. Even though he claimed to be a celibate, he didn't do a great job at it. Cronus looked into his rear view mirror and caught a glance of Latula giggling and flashing him a thumbs up. He grinned victoriously. But out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small light.

"Wvhat the... Wvhat in the name of Cod is that?" Muttered Cronus, his voice a whisper. Kankri noticed that he'd forgotten to hide his impediment. It was strangely unsettling.

Kankri turned. A bright light was headed in their direction. It seemed as if you would be blinded if you stared at it for too long. It was accompanied by a loud honking noise. Kankri recognised the horn to be the same one the local train used. But the light empowered the noise completely. And it was getting brighter by the millisecond. The car screeched to a halt. The 19 year-old's eyes flickered. He realised what it was too late.

"Everyone out! NOW!" He screamed, his gelled purple locks falling out of place. He hopped and staggered out of the side of the hoodless vehicle and off the railway. Latula, with Cronus's help, stumbled out next. They both tried to pull Mituna out. Cronus's deep blue eyes widened.

"Kankri!"

Kankri, however, couldn't move. He couldn't speak (for once!). He could only watch as the light in front of him got taller and wider right before his eyes. He was momentarily blinded, submerged in a sea of light. He hastily shut his eyes tight closed. He didn't want to keep them open as he died. Kankri had seen many people die in front of him and their eyes were almost always wide open. It didn't look very comfortable, having your eyes open for all of eternity. Kankri always felt it was his responsibility to close their eyes for them, seeing as he killed them in the first place... So Kankri waited. And waited. He was afraid to open his eyes. He was afraid to know what all those cold, unseeing eyes had seen, had felt. Kankri sung quietly to his brother to take his mind off that topic.

_Love of mine, Someday you will die, but I'll be close behind..._

Kankri remembered. It was the song he used to sing to Karkat when he was still a little child. Kankri would close the door behind him and sing the song as a lullaby before he went to sleep.

_I'll follow you into the dark..._

Kankri remembered the times when his innocent little brother would fall asleep, but instead of leaving the room, Kankri would curl up next to him, blocking his ears from the screaming and the crying in the room next door and muffling his own quiet sobbing in his brother's soft, light hair. But he was stronger now. And his brother had also grown up. He didn't need him anymore.

"Kankri!" A loud noise startled Kankri's eyes wide open. He was certain he had heard his name. Kankri hesitantly glanced around himself, taking in the scene before him. But there was no scene. Only a white nothingness surrounding him. He wondered what he was sitting on. Better not to think about it.

"H-hello?" He tested. "I would like to inquire as to where I am and... what I am supposed to be doing here... Also, I'd like to ask if anyone is actually listening... to me...?"

Silence.

"Uh... Cronus? M-Mituna? Latula? I... Um..." Kankri was getting a bit uncomfortable. He wasn't used to staying silent for long periods of time. He tended to silence others around him. He got interrupted quite often though. Recently he had found a new friend, Cronus. He liked Cronus. He liked him because he would listen to Kankri while he was speaking. Sometimes he was even interested. Kankri let a small smile escape his lips. Hardly anyone was ever interested in his conversations. And Kankri thought it was only fair that he listened to Cronus too. But he would only get to listen to him if he ever saw him again... And the odds of that happening seemed quite low. The smile disappeared from his face.

It was fair to say that Kankri was feeling rather triggered right now.

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**I am SO (not) sorry for my crappy fish puns.**

**Also, the song was I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab for Cutie :)**

**Review?**


	3. The Boy in the Blue Sock

**I've got all these weird ideas for this story, but I know I'll get myself into trouble if I actually use any of them! Ugh... **

**But heeeeeeres the update! Ta da!**

**John is finally making his first, proper appearance, whoop! :D**

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*Knock knock*

Karkat jumped and the doorknob he was examining fell out of his grip. He had screwed it out of the door in the strange room and replaced it with one of the ones on his cupboard. Luckily, it fell below the bed. Whoever it was had obviously decided to ignore his DO NOT DISTURB sign. They'd better be worth it.

"COME IN!" He said, running a sweaty hand through his dark, disheveled hair.

The door opened and a tall girl entered, dressed in bright green pj's with white puppies and night black hair in an infinitely worse condition than Karkat's own. Her eyes lived up to her name. They sparkled as they settled on Karkat. Her hair jutted out in all directions, and Karkat couldn't help but find it utterly adorable. He obviously couldn't tell her that, though.

Jade strolled in like it was her own house(ward, actually). She scanned the room to make sure Karkat hadn't broken anything in an angry fit again. It happened once. He broke his nose. Her jade green eyes darted to something under the bed and she smiled.

"W-what's up Jade?" He huffed, ultimately failing to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

"Heehee!" She giggled, and jumped onto his bed, almost knocking him over. Karkat, who was obviously uncomfortable, became even more so.

"Hey!" He exclaimed.

"Hey yourself!" She retorted.

"You need to stop intruding my personal space!"

"Why, we're friends, aren't we?"

"B-but... I..." He started to tremble.

"O-oh..." She got off the bed. "Sorry... I forgot..."

They both looked away from each other awkwardly.

Karkat had a mild case of Haphephobia, or Chiraptophobia. A phobia of touch. It was why he was in hospital, just like his brother. His brother was admitted into the hospital two months ago, because of a train accident. He was in a coma, but had no fatal injuries. The doctors said it was very lucky for him to survive since he would have died if not for his close friend. But ever since Kankri fell in a coma, Karkat's parents grew even more violent. They blamed Karkat for causing Kankri to be in pain. A while after that, Karkat grew a phobia. He would wake up several times every night either screaming or crying, only to wake his parents up and suffer even more. He was put into hospital, but he only stayed there because he refused to tell the doctors or anyone else what happened in his past. If he told them what was wrong, he would be sent back home to his 'loving parents.' Of course, his parents denied all accusations of being being abusive to either of their sons. Kankri's friend, "Cronus," corrected Karkat, threw himself between Kankri and the train. The doctors said he didn't make it. Cronus sacrificed himself for Kankri. Karkat wondered if Kankri would be willing to sacrifice himself for Cronus. Probably not, he thought. He didn't even sacrifice himself for his little brother. He just kept running away.

Karkat started to wonder if he would sacrifice himself for Kankri. But his train of thought was interrupted by a high voice calling his name.

"EARTH TO KAAAAARKITTTTYYYYY!" Groaned Jade, rolling her eyeballs.

"WHAT? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?"

"Heehee, there's the Karkat I know and love!" Jade smiled. Karkat tried his best to prevent a candy red blush from emerging onto his face.

"Have you been working on anything recently? The clown said something about a translation device..."

"Uh, no. That's Equius's brother. Apparently it's not working out so well. But I'm taking a break for a while! No work for me! Heehee..." She giggled

Jade liked to work on projects every once in a while. She called them her "Little Science Experiments" but everyone knew they were more than just that. She provided enough money for herself and her younger brother AND their daily living expenses. Karkat found it pretty impressive. He hoped he could do that someday, stand up on his own two feet, the world below him. He would be a leader. But Jade was only a few months older than him and she had already gotten so far. It was a little discouraging, to be honest.

"I wanted to tell you something." She continued. Her thin, round black glasses threatened to fall off her nose. She polished the rim and pushed them back up with the tip of her finger. Karkat swallowed. He knew this wouldn't be good.

"It's just that-"

*Tap tap tap*

She was cut off by the sound of light knocking on the door.

"WHO IS IT?" Asked Karkat in irritation.

"..." No one replied. But they continued to knock.

*Tap tap tap*

Both Karkat and Jade groaned. "WHO THE FUCK IS IT?!" They shouted in unison.

"..."

*Tap tap tap*

Karkat was about to get up and walk to the door himself when Jade jumped up stopped him.

"No, stay, I think I know who it is."

Karkat obediently sat back down.

Jade threw the door wide open, letting a cold breeze through the room. Karkat shivered.

"Hi John!"

"..."

"I'm sorry! I didn't realise you were still waiting!"

"..."

Karkat was confused. He couldn't see past Jade and he couldn't hear anyone talking back to her either. "I WONDER IF SHE'S FINALLY GONE MAD," He sniggered. It was then that he noticed a long blue... Windsock (?) behind Jade.

"Hey Jade, I think you should stop talking to a giant sock..." he trailed off.

Jade looked back at Karkat and gave him a disapproving look. She stepped back and Karkat still looked at a blue windsock. Until it grew arms and pulled its hood down. It was a boy. He was wearing blue PJ's just like Jade's. He looked like a little child who had just gotten up from bed since he sported a messy bed head and had a goofy grin plastered onto his face. He wore splintered, thick framed glasses which hid his... Strange... blue eyes. Karkat summed up that he was a total dork.

John's eyes looked straight at Karkat, much to his discomfort. His eyes were blue, a deep, dark, blue. But saying his eyes were blue was like saying the sun was yellow. It didn't capture the burning. They were a storm. A whirlpool sucking him in. Looking into his eyes, Karkat could feel the waves, hear them crashing against each other. He could see excitement buzzing around behind them. They looked almost... Electric. Karkat felt the need to look away, but he couldn't. No matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn't. It was like the eyes were searching through his own, they could read his every emotion, his every secret. It was like the eyes were trying to tell him something, something the boy couldn't say. And the dry line of tears running down his cheeks only encouraged the idea.

"He's not a sock, Karkat, he's my brother. And he can't speak."

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**I still ended up using an idea which will get me into trouble. Great.**


	4. The Demons Inside

**AAH! IMSOSORRYFORTHELATEUPDATE! I was on holidays so I was kinda busy :o**

**But what day to update is better than your own birthday? Heehee :D I got a HUUUUUGE Totoro teddy bear :3**

**Cronkri is adorabubble xD**

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~Day 2~

Kankri jolted awake. Awake? No. That was phrased wrong.

_Alive._

He was having a nightmare. He dreamt of a train hitting him, his body hitting the left side of the track like a rag doll. He took a deep breath. Dying felt know the feeling when you are holding your breath underwater and you feel that momentary panic urging you to breathe? That's how he felt, but the panic was pain and the pain lasted for a long time. Maybe it was because he was learning how to live without a heart. Anyway, he'd woken up from one nightmare and landed into another.

_When your dreams all fail_

_And the ones we hail_

_Are the worst of all_

_And the blood's run stale_

Kankri stopped and squinted. It felt as if the white light around him was getting brighter. He would love a pair of sunglasses right now...

"Anyone there?" He tested."Th-This isn't very funny... You can stop now... In fact, it is increasingly triggering..."

Kankri had a feeling no one was listening.

~Day 4~

Kankri lay sprawled across the nonexistent ground and closed his eyes. It helped stop the light from getting in. He swore he must have been looking directly at the sun all this time. Luckily his eyes were not as sensitive as his brother. They both wore tinted contact lenses. The lenses reduced the impact of light on their monstrous red eyes. Their demonic, ugly, monstrous red eyes.

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

Kankri felt bored. He didn't feel tired or anything, just bored. Kankri didn't feel bored very often. He didn't like it.

Letting out a long groan, he rolled onto his side. He wondered if this was punishment for all the bad things he'd done. Instead of just letting him go to hell, he was being punished for the people he had let die. The people he had killed.

Meulin would laugh.

~Day 7~

The silence was deafening. He finally understood the meaning to that saying. Kankri wondered how long he'd been here. He was used to silencing others with his speeches, but not like this. At least he knew someone was listening. A while ago, he thought he had heard something. A familiar Honk. It was ridiculous. He was probably deluding himself... Anyway, people might not pay attention, but at least they listen. Kankri preferred talking to thinking. Or waiting. But he decided he would wait. Wait until someone found him - or at least notice he was gone.

_I can't escape this now_

_Unless you show me how..._

~Day 11~

Kankri didn't have the strength to speak anymore.

That was a lie.

He felt like he had the strength to do anything, everything. But he didn't have anything to do. He found it fuddling that he had so much energy when he hadn't eaten in almost - he checked his watch - two whole weeks? Or did time work that way here. He didn't know.

Kankri had noticed something in the past few days. He couldn't tell if the room was hot or cold. It was strangely numbing. Also, even though he didn't have food to eat, somehow he didn't feel the need to. He didn't question it. Sure, something to eat would be nice, but only because he wanted something to do, something to see, smell, hear, taste, touch.

_Touch..._

Kankri's face lit up like the room around him at the thought of Cronus. His incapability of sensing when he'd intruded someone's personal space. The various times he'd gotten beaten up over it. A smile lit up Kankri's face. He was like a child. He never learned... And also the time when-

... Wait a minute.

If it was possible, Kankri's face would have been a lightbulb. He put his head in his hands.

What?

He was not just thinking about Cronus.

Nopenopenopenopenope.

Nope.

...

He wanted to see him. He wondered where he was.

But more than Cronus, he wanted to see his little brother, Karkat. He wondered how Karkat was faring without him. Kankri knew that Karkat was put under pressure. It used to be because of his eyes. But one day Kankri came home from school and found Karkat curled up on the ground, just staring at the wall across from him. He had dry tears on his cheeks. Kankri asked what was wrong but Karkat wouldn't budge. His mother and father had gone out. And of course his parents wouldn't help, even if he told them. They were disgusting. Kankri used to think Karkat was just bullied, just like the other kids, and that he'd grow out of it. He was wrong.

He realised this ever since he saw his father pin Karkat to the wall. Ever since his mother scarred his poor little brother across the chest with her kitchen knife... He could feel how tense his brother was, his tiny body shaking. He was like a flower that had been stepped on, shivering in the wind. Kankri grew worried. So he seated his younger brother on his lap and wrapped his skinny arms around him, laid his shivering head against his chest and placed his own above his black feathery head. He was casting a shield around him, protecting him from the world. But he couldn't protect him from his own thoughts, his own memories...

_I wanna hide the truth_

_I wanna shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's nowhere we can hide_

He didn't know what else to do. It was like he didn't want Kankri to know something. He grew cold, bitter and distant from him. And Kankri didn't know why.

He didn't even know why.


	5. A Smile

**Bet you never thought you'd live to see this update xD**

**I apologise for my tardiness xO And... Well... You know... School is school. Yeah. I've been super busy and I don't understand how I haven't died yet.I'm going to try to update more often though. I'm over my writers block too heehee. Also for some reason fan fiction was being mean and wouldn't let me upload stuff for a week.**

**Now to get on with the story.**

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Karkat turned around on his bed to look sideways at the doorknob he found yesterday. It glowed slightly in the moonlight from the window. It wasn't any old thing, that was for sure! How many rooms had he seen before that let him speak to his dead brother? None. Well, he was in a coma, but still as good as dead to Karkat. He remembered the array of buttons on the keyboard. He looked at his own. One of the buttons was a bright, wild

* * *

blue. It reminded him of an unpleasant memory. Wind-sock boy's eyes. Karkat leaned up and turned the board on it's side, so he couldn't see the blue anymore. Or so the blue couldn't see him.

~Yesterday~

"He... Can't speak?" Asked Karkat tentatively. His throat ran dry. He awkwardly picked up a glass of water from the table on the side of the bed.

"Yes, Karkat. Jegus, haven't you ever heard of anyone who can't _speak_ before?"

"WELL OF COURSE, YOU BUBBLE BLOWING AIRHEAD! ITS... just that I never knew your brother couldn't..."

Karkat's voice grew soft as his sentence ended. Jade grinned so wide it looked like her face might split into two. She tended to do that when Karkat got angry. Karkat ignored her and took a sip of his drink.

"Oh Karkitty..." She teased. "Don't get angry... I'm telling you now, aren't I?" She fluttered her eyelashes and stuck out her chest. Karkat almost spit his drink back out. See, this is why Karkat was uncomfortable around her. He silently thanked his ancestors for not giving him the ability to blush easily.

What was she getting at? He knew she wanted something, but he deemed it better not to ask.

"By the way, he wasn't always like this. One day, he woke up and he just... Didn't have a voice. I don't know. He's lived in this hospital for about two years now. I come to visit every so often, like today." She explained, taking a morbid tone.

Karkat felt a bit betrayed, as these two years he thought Jade came all the way over to the hospital just to visit him. He looked at John. He was looking at the ground away from himself. He noticed his hands. His fingers were long and slender, artist's hands, but he also had the strong fingers of a pianist. His nails were short and clean, albeit worn from biting. Karkat noticed John looking back at him and he spun away from him.

"Why does he live here? Doesn't he go home?" He asked. "And shut up with the stupid nickname." Jade laughed. John put his head back down.

"Well, he stays home while we have school sometimes, but he lives here mostly. Since his case is so rare, doctors want regular updates on his speech. Apparently they haven't specified the condition and so need to conduct a bit of research." She frowned. "I refused to allow them to perform surgery on him."

"Oh." This was getting uncomfortable. He steered away from the topic. "So how does he manage to speak? I mean, communicate?"

"John either writes or signs. I know ASL, sign language, so I can talk to him easily. But he always carries around a little notebook to write on. He's a bit shy though." She motioned towards the little blue book in John's hands. Jade looked from Karkat to John and back. "Oh! I forgot to formally introduce you two! John, this is Karkat. And Karkat, well, you know. John, say Hi."

John looked up from under his messy bed head and waved hello, his eyes wider than ever. What was that expression on his face... Surprise? Relief? He gave a wide smile, which was rather out of character for someone with dry tears on his cheeks. Karkat didn't. He looked away from his eyes. His eyes freaked him out.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" he raised his voice.

"Oh yeah! I wanted to tell you that school starts next week!"

"...oh."

"Karkat?"

"SHIT. ShitshitshitsHITSHIIIT!"

"Eh..."

"Can you... Can you leave for a bit?" Karkat's voice grew softer. Though this behaviour was perfectly normal from Jade's perspective, he seemed to have startled John. What was he, a cat? Not a great first impression.

"Oh-okay..." She understood. She got up and left, closing the door behind her. He sat on the bed and looked at the clock. Time passed slowly. Too slowly.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Time ran on, but his clock had stopped long ago.

For Karkat, going to school was a nightmare. He wasn't bullied or anything, the problem was outside school. Going to school meant leaving the hospital and staying home. And staying home meant staying with his parents. He was scared.

Very scared.

All of a sudden, he felt a cold hand on his shoulder. He jumped and whirled around.

"WH-WHAT-" He stopped.

Someone had wrapped his arms around Karkat.

He was slightly damp, his shoulder was wet. Karkat realised he had been crying. There were more tears forming in his eyes, and he choked back the rest of his sobs. He felt like turning around and burying his face into his chest, so no one could see him crying, like he did with Kankri. But when he turned around, he didn't see Kankri's face but John's. Then he remembered what he was supposed to do.

He pushed John away from him and growled. "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, EVER!"

What was John doing here? More importantly, why was he hugging Karkat?! They hadn't even ever had a decent conversation with each other, forget about... This!

John looked slightly hurt. But he proceeded to take his notebook and scribble down a message. _Why are you crying?_

"I'M NOT CRYING, YOU DUMB FUCK!"

_That's better! Don't be sad! Be angry!_ John flashed Karkat a wide, dorky grin and Karkat groaned. _I'm going to school too! Do you want to go together?_ He asked.

"WE'VE ONLY JUST MET EACH OTHER. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME? NO? WELL THEN THERE'S YOUR ANSWER. NO. AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL IN THIS ROOM?! CAN YOUR STUPID THINKPAN NOT REGISTER THE FACT THAT I WANT YOU TO LEAVE?"

_I did leave... _His blue eyes flashed at Karkat. _But then I came back to get my notebook. Then you started crying. And you still are. Tell me why?_

Karkat realised he had stopped fighting back the tears and cursed under his breath. "NO FUCKING WAY, YOU BULGESUCKING DOUCHEMUFFIN."

John's smiled a Cheshire grin. _Ugh,_ thought Karkat. _He's doing the same thing his sister does._

_What's a bulge? _Teased John.

"A... WELL... YOU GET THE POINT."

_No. I don't, _He insisted.

"WILL YOU GET THE FUCK OUT." It wasn't a question.

John's goofy grin disappeared. The light disappeared from his eyes. Are people supposed to be able to do that? He put his head back down and nodded. "NOW, GO."

John straightened up and walked towards the door. For a moment Karkat thought he would burst into tears and start crying or something. Karkat almost felt guilty. Before he left the room, Karkat almost opened his mouth to call him back to apologise. But as he was leaving through the door, for just a split second,

Karkat was pretty sure that he saw John

Smile.

* * *

**Goodness gracious me, thank ye sooooo much for all the attention! I love every single one of you to death! I love hearing what you have to say ^^ thankyousomuch!**


	6. Update

Okay, so I've been looking over this story after a full year and I realised how terrible my writing skill actually was. I decided I'll rewrite what I have so far, better and with a few plot differences. So if you somehow still care about this story, here you go! It's being rewritten as we speak! And if you want to catch up on what's being written, just go back to the beginning. The only plot difference so far is that the communication tool is a computer in a strange room instead of a weird box. Reading optional but recommended ^^ (Update to this update:3/5 chapters updated)


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